We have made it 2 weeks!!! DAY 14!
Jul 22, 2018
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Taud0-Z8JA4

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good morning you guys and welcome to
Sodor day and what is Saturday weigh-in
day yes I had my weigh-in and I am happy
to say that I am 469 pounds meaning I
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lost 6 pounds this week I am so excited
like I really was not only my breath to
lose really anything because of what's
going on with me right now so to lose 6
pounds I'll take it because I like I
said I didn't really think I was gonna
lose much of anything if anything so
yeah I I'm so excited so that is a total
of 22 pounds in two weeks that I've
dropped boy what a big difference what a
difference I am definitely on my way to
my goal I am just ah because my first
goal is 150 pounds so we got to get
there and the sooner the better I don't
have time to just wait around
so anyways yes
that is that is the news I think we're
gonna take the kids for a drive to get
that out of the house for a little bit I
think we're all going a little bit
stir-crazy
because we've kind of been stuck in the
house lost couple days except for
yesterday going to Walmart but even at
that we were kind of stuck in the car so
it wasn't like we really got out so I
think we're gonna do that and then it's
probably it I have a doctor I call in to
the doctor
to see what he is suggesting for me to
do because I just I'm still feeling
really really weak and just not feeling
100% so we'll see how that goes
I've just been pretty much kind of just
sitting pretty low today and keeping my
legs up and just taking it easy and
letting nature take its course it's
tearing me up but I got a roll with it
don't have any time to just stop my life
but yeah and I'm still sticking on track
with everything I'm supposed to be doing
calorie count wise there's no excuses
like even though I'm struggling right
now with everything else I am there's no
room for mess-ups there is no more room
for excuses because that's money that's
my go-to it's excuses like when I want
to binge and I want to just dig out I'll
come up with every excuse possible to be
like well I really don't feel good and I
think I need talked about or that you
know Dairy Queen big I don't want to say
it a lot because I've got little ears
sounds amazing and I'm not feeling good
so I think I need one no doesn't work
that way no more that doesn't work in
here so yeah I'm still sticking with my
calories but I am gonna have to find
some foods that are a little bit higher
in iron I think because I do know my
iron is low I can fill it and yeah I'm
not I'm not sure exactly what we're
gonna do but I will just keep checking
in with you guys and letting you guys
know how I'm doing and again I hope
you're having a wonderful morning
because well I am so far other than just
sitting here I showered I did get up and
shower but that's as much as I've gotten
done I really haven't done anything else
and I've got or enjoyed was that one
no I have fabric on me the things I find
on me for my children but anyways yeah
so I just probably want to say that I
have lost 22 pounds and six of those
pounds for this week and normally during
this time of the season I can gain
anywhere from four to five pounds and so
like I told ollie that there is a
possibility I could have even probably
lost more but because I'm on something
yeah that's not the case but that's okay
still six pounds is good because that
would have been six pounds I probably
would have gained had I not been on this
journey already so and it's just
continuously reminding myself that you
know this is a journey this isn't a fad
this isn't a diet you know I had
somebody you know say to me a while back
a few weeks ago that they don't support
diets they don't support that type of
stuff and I just want to say that this
is not a diet I'm not on a diet diets
are temporary diets are fake this is not
a diet this is called a life change and
the reason I'm doing it is to get my
life back because I'm tired of not being
able to do things in life I'm tired of
you know living my life for the next
meal because that's how I am you know
and so I just want to make sure okay
honey hold on just a minute okay I just
want to make sure that I make that
really clear to everybody that I don't
want anybody to think that I'm dieting
because that's definitely not it
I do count my calories I do keep myself
in a calorie amount and that is strictly
for accountability
and the reason I do that is because with
having binge disorder you don't pay
attention to those details like you just
don't you eat and that's it like you
don't really pay attention to the
details of what you're putting in you
just grab and you eat somebody's eating
something that looks good to you you're
not gonna stop like well how many
calories is it
no you just eat it because that is the
disease that we're fighting is that you
feel like you have to eat everything
that everybody else has around you
because you don't want to be the one
that doesn't eat and then you miss out
so for me personally I have to put
myself on a calorie count so that
there's accountability for me to know
okay you know what Amy you have 1800
calories for the day so we need to
figure out how to divide those 1800
calories within your day so that you're
still being able to eat but still stayin
very cautious about how much and what
you're choosing to spend that 1800
calories on and so that's a big big that
is a very big detail to what my progress
is most days I have not reached my 1800
calories and I'll be honest I have a
really hard time getting to 1,800
calories I basically can get to about
1200 calories and I'm done for the day
like it's just I'm not hungry I'm not
depriving myself like I am sticking so
straight with everything but I'm not
even needing all of those 18 higher
calories and I feel amazing and
obviously it's working because I'm being
able to lose weight and feel amazing at
the same time so I just really wanted to
clarify that with everybody's that this
is not a diet this isn't temporary this
isn't a me losing my weight and then
turn around and go back to my old habits
like it's just not
it really isn't and I don't care who you
are but you cannot tell me when you're
weighing 350 450 550 that you're
comfortable you know but I don't care
who you are you are not comfortable you
may say that you're okay and that you're
comfortable and that you're you know
you're promoting healthy lifestyles and
that's fine and I promote the same thing
like I want people to accept themselves
for what they are I'm not saying that
somebody has to lose weight to be
accepted or whatever that definitely
definitely definitely definitely is not
my message but someone that is 3 and 4
and 500 pounds to me is not at a safe
weight for health
I basically me personally I am
considered a healthy fat person I don't
have any heart problems my cholesterol
is low I don't have diabetes I'm not
even pre-diabetic everything is perfect
and my doctor will tell you I am
considered a very healthy fat person
does that mean that I want to stay this
size because I'm considered healthy no
because just because my health part is
fine my body is breaking down my knees
are hurting when I was going up and down
the stairs at the beach the other day I
could literally hear my knees cracking I
mean literally and I'm like oh my god
like I'm only gonna be 37 and I sound
like my bones are gonna snap um my back
you know my back can only hold so much
before it's gonna give out so I'm not
saying that
you're wrong to promote self love the
way you are but I am promoting that you
should want to change that you should
want to become healthy I'm not seeing
everybody has to be a hundred and fifty
pounds that's not that's not what I'm
trying to say and again I'm not even
trying to get to 150 pounds my ultimate
ultimate goal to get down to is 170 I
will be fine at 200 so I'm not trying to
say anything about not promoting that
self-care and self-love I'm just
promoting starting to become healthy and
eating and moving and that type of stuff
and as you do those things your body's
gonna obviously change because you're
finally moving and you know you're
starting to feed your body with
wholesome food that it needs rather than
stopping at McDonald's and Taco Bell and
Burger King and Dairy Queen and Wendy's
and you name it it's gonna be so much
better when you stop and you start
really feeding yourself those foods that
your body deserves so I just wanted to
clarify that that this is not a diet
this is not temporary this is for the
rest of my life so if I live for a
hundred and twenty years that would be
great
then this is the way I'm gonna live for
the next hundred twenty years this isn't
something that I'm just gonna do for the
next 20 years and fall off and go back
to the way I am now so anyways enough
with the rambling I will check in here
soon and let you guys know what's going
on hey you guys so we just got back we
we went and ran a couple errands things
that we need to get done really quick
and during that time I had two episodes
of almost passing out and
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then I called my doctor because my
cramps are so bad like I'm seriously
like almost in tears because I hurt so
bad like I I just haven't don't really
with tears are tears with with cramps
anyways but I went ahead and anyways um
so I went ahead and called the
pharmacist and they said that I could go
ahead and take a pain med if need be
because you know obviously I kind of
seeming to meet it and then the doctor
when I called said that I needed to stay
sitting down keeping my legs up and
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pumped my body full of stuff that's got
full of iron in it to get my iron up
because I'm really really cold
I'm not shivering and it's 8485 outside
and I was literally I had my heat on my
seat on because I was so cold like I
cannot get warm and so obviously that's
an indication you know something that's
dropping so anyways doctor wants me to
continue to elevate myself and see
what's going on and you will see I mean
like he said if I am continuing to not
be able to bring my temperatures up and
regulate myself that means that you know
there could be something going on so
then that means we'll be taking a trip
to the hospital anyways so anyways I
will keep you guys updated just want to
let you guys know that today's kind of
you know another one of those down
videos but I anyways I know that you
guys are supporting me in it all the
encouragement is helping me so much to
not feel like I am deflecting back from
where I've been getting because I just
don't you know I don't want you guys to
feel like I'm falling off track or
anything like that cuz that's definitely
not the case this is not normal for
I mean I've always had heavy periods but
definitely not to this extent so anyways
I just want to keep checking in with you
guys and knowing that I am like so
thinking about you guys and I appreciate
again all the encouragement this was
dinner tonight
it was skillet vegetables with a little
bit of potato and lots of red meat it
was so good and for the entire serving
it was 550 calories okay you guys it is
time to circle big balls so guess you
guys want to follow along right Oh
1 2 3 4 6 pounds this week so exciting
and then what I'll do is like I did here
I'll put the date here for today's state
that I weighed out so I'll check in here
in a minute and close my day with you
guys hey everybody
hopefully you guys are having me one
I've had a pretty good afternoon I did a
lot a lot a lot a lot of rusting I ended
up taking a nap I was hoping to but I
just couldn't get down get a little
toasty toasty in here I was really cold
all day today so like literally it was
85 if I want to stay here in Salem today
and I literally had to have my husband
shut the air conditioned off and I was
under three blankets because I was so
cold I mean I was like shivering cold
but I came home from running the errands
that we had to get done
they were must-haves otherwise we would
have never just even went anywhere but
we had to go to my husband's a lot for
his car thing and so his car business
sorry thing nothing and so but when I
came home I took in a pain pill I had
called a pharmacist and asked them if it
was okay to take an ibuprofen because I
had already taken an ibuprofen when we
were in the car and it was not doing
anything for me it was not even helping
me one bit so then I was like well I
wonder if I could take something else
with the ibuprofen but then I start
getting really scared because I hate
mixing like medicines and stuff together
without getting like an okay writing
down some names you told me so I called
a pharmacist where I always get my
medicine filled and stuff and asked him
if I could take like a trauma doll with
the ID program to help and he said yeah
that would be totally fine but when I
came home I told Ollie I said well why
don't we just wait let me just kind of
settle down you know
get back on my recliner put my legs back
up and see who I'm filling so I say
about a half an hour after we got home I
started feeling a little bit better like
cramping noise so I told him I said
let's just hold him I don't like taking
pain knows my gosh I can't stand taking
pain pills if I don't have to and so I
decided not to that I didn't need them
after all so cramping ways I'm doing a
little bit better I'm not hurting as bad
but we'll see because the ibuprofen will
probably wear off here in a little bit
so we'll see how that goes and I'm just
hoping tonight I get some good sleep
because only our two hours of sleep last
night in yeah and so yeah back to my
weigh-in
you know I was sitting there thinking
today that two weeks ago if I wouldn't
have made this choice to make a change
in my lifestyle and the way that I'm
doing things I would literally probably
have gained the 22 pounds how scary is
that like how scary so I just I am so
happy that I chose to do this and I'm
even more happy that I decided to share
it with the world this huge transition
that I'm going through because all of
you guys have such an impact on my
achievements I've already made and you
guys make me wanna stay is so strong
that I just couldn't imagine myself
doing anything else like I just can't I
can't do it so it was you know it's it
was a good thought today that it just
really made me feel good I thought you
know
it's I know I'm doing right I know I am
and honestly I really I really haven't
struggled too much and I really think
it's because I always go back and
reflect on what you guys are writing to
me and just the encouragement support
and that makes me feel so good that it
just makes me not want to veer off the
road and to take any other you know
destination other than where I'm headed
and so yeah I'm I'm just so excited and
then um I did see somebody because I had
mentioned about the weight loss chart
and somebody had said boy you know I
think I had our fifty pounds is a a big
goal you know because I'm not hundred
fifty pounds is a lot of weight but all
the way that I feel about it
I have fours four stages I have a
hundred fifty pounds I have 90 pounds I
have thirty pounds and I have 220 pounds
and that will bring me down to 170
pounds give or take you know a few
pounds here or there because like I said
at the very beginning even if I got down
to 200 pounds I'd be happier than where
I'm at now but honestly I know and I you
know I will lose and to me it really
doesn't seem like it's too far off like
I am so pumped to get this weight off of
me that a hundred and fifty pounds to me
feels like I'm saying I need to lose 50
pounds it doesn't seem like it's a
far-fetched goal that I've set out there
so just I mean I didn't want people to
think that I was just like being rude
and you know when I said oh no I can do
this and I will do this because it's
true I know I am capable of this
and I know that I am going to do it
there's no excuse I have absolutely zero
excuses in my book for why I can't reach
my first goal so I'm gonna do it and I'm
gonna do it hard and I'm gonna do it as
fast as I can
because I'm ready to achieve my life so
that I can start taking you guys on more
adventures you know me and oli have
talked about being able to take you guys
traveling with us and just our life is
gonna change so much and I'm so excited
to take you guys along with the jar the
drive that we're gonna do because these
things are things that I have had in my
book for so long that I've wanted to do
and now not only do I get to spend it
and share it with my family I get to
share it with all of you and I'm so
excited I am I could just scream because
I'm so excited
um not literally but I just forget that
I'm in the house you don't just start
screaming my husband's like well let's
go around there um but anyways yeah so
I'm gonna just I'm just and something
that I thought was kind of fun I was
looking at him I don't even know what I
googled but it was something about
conversation topics or something like
that and one of the ones that came up
was what are your favorite TV shows and
I thought that's kind of fun to talk
about I think it would be something fun
for us to all to kind of chat about chat
chit chat about um so I thought I would
share with you guys my favorite TV shows
and then you guys can link your guys's
TV shows in the comments and give me
some other ideas and it could be Netflix
it can be not who I don't have hulu but
netflix i do have in comcast cable i
have so yeah anyways i'm going to share
with you as much as i watch so
I want to see everyday I have something
that I DVR and then I watch it at night
after I get my baby to sleep because boy
there is just no watching TV in this
house when my kids are awake because I
am not even kidding you it is stuck on
Netflix and my two little ones will
watch over and I think me and my husband
can probably recite work to work for the
movies of Moana pets Dory and boss baby
those movies play over and over I'm like
oh my god so once a boom once in a blue
moon I can kind of distract them and I
can like switch it on to something like
news for a few seconds but I don't
really watch the news very often I just
usually them cuz I always DVR all my
shows cuz I never know what I'm gonna
actually be able to sit and actually
watch the show so I DVR the news and 9
out of 10 i fast-forward through
everything until i get to the weather
and then i watch the weather and then
that's it and i just shut off because i
just my anxiety I can't handle sitting
and really just diving into the news and
hearing everything it just and I watch a
lot about the wildfires because I you
know I want to know what's kind of going
on with that and being able to keep
families and prayers and thoughts and
things like that so those type of things
I do watch but I try and really stay
away from like politics and murderers
and things like that it just I my
insight he can't handle it and you know
when you start talking about politics
and stuff it gets so sad because it just
is such a division between people and I
hate that I just you know in my dream
world it would be everybody loves each
other everybody is under the same
umbrella and we watch each other's backs
and help
one another out unfortunately that's not
how it is because it's also diversed and
it's also divided and I just stay away
from it I just you know I don't ever
talk about politics with people I don't
everybody is allowed to have their own
opinions and statements and that is
great but I just try and stay really a
far away from that stuff because again
my anxiety just pops up and I just I'm
like I start thinking of a million
things and that's just not I don't want
to do that so anyways so I watch my
shows i watch first I love little women
Ellie and little woman dollars I almost
forgot the names and I've only been
watching for years I just love the show
you know some like my husband will sit
there and be like what do you see in the
show and I'm just like I don't know it's
just drama and if I don't have my own
drama I can at least watch somebody's
drama right I mean it's some excitement
but I just I I love hearing their
stories and I know this shows a lot of
them are edited and some people see some
of the shows are scripted and they could
be I'm not denying it but it's still a
good show just to watch and just laugh
and watch their knockout drag-out
sometimes the wigs get pulled off and I
just die I really do
anyways another one I watch is 90-day
fiance and that one um I just watch it
just to watch it but I think I can
sometimes relate to a lot of the people
on the show in the sense that I've been
in that situation you know I mean I God
never was on the show but I was in that
same situation in the sense of you know
marrying my husband and trying to get
him here I mean it a little bit
different you know because of course he
didn't come here on a fiance visa but it
just I can relate to a lot of what it
you know goes on in a lot of their lives
some of them some of them I you know I
don't but
for the most part I love just watching
the show and seeing how you know people
have to travel back to the other
person's country and adjust and you know
meet family and so that's just like me I
I had to travel back to Egypt I have no
idea where I was going I had no studies
of a Joe I you know I don't even know if
I really I didn't know any honest-to-god
I didn't really even know I think the
most I knew about it was pyramids I
think that was probably the biggest
thing that stuck out to me other than
that I really don't remember ever
knowing really any history of Egypt
until I got there and now yeah of course
I know a lot but it's a married one but
it's just cool when you watch the
stories that play out and you always
hope for the best for every one of the
couples at least I do and some sadly
don't you know don't withstand each
other but you know it is what it is and
I've got contact with a couple of them
personal contact with a few of the cast
members and you know and I know the
personal stories and it's just you know
I think everybody has their opinion on
everybody but in the end everybody all
of them are human and they all have
their own personal stories and so it's
nice just to watch each and every one of
them and then what other one do I have
I watched Sister Wives I know a lot of
people are like oh my god that show how
can you watch it you know I'm not all
for the whole have multiple wives you
know I mean my momma taught well someone
taught me to share but I don't share my
man he ain't on sale but um I just like
the family family dynamic and I think
that's because I love family orientated
things I love watching how everybody
gets together and they have dinners and
they go on vacations and you know they
travel and I love that atmosphere and I
think that
that's what the that's what the thing
that catches me is wanting to watch that
part you know I could care less about
him having five six seven wives I really
could care less about that
that's between all of them if that's
what they want to do but I just love the
family part of the show and that's what
drives me to watch that show so much and
then I watch my big fat fabulous life
from Whitney there's not a whole lot to
say about the show I mean I love the
show I've always been a big supporter of
the show I think you know me and Whitney
have a lot of the same viewpoints and so
when I watch her it continues to you
know before I started the journey
obviously I would watch her while I was
eating a bowl of ice cream or in some
doughnuts or whatever you know usually
it was every night at 8:00 chocolate
that was like my thing every night it
did not matter I always eat chocolate
and mate with my husband we would sit
with our soda and our chocolate bar and
we would literally sit and eat while we
watched her show and other shows and so
as I've changed my eating habits in my
lifestyle she's not been on yet she
comes back on I think soon she's coming
back on I believe um I don't remember if
she put a date on it but I know she's
coming up to here soon
but I just loved watching the show
because again it just shows me that
there's still so many people out there
that will support big people and you
know like I was saying today about the
dieting and stuff like that you know I
know that I have a great support system
just by you guys just right there alone
you guys are the most amazing support
team anybody could ever ask for and I
know that that goes for Whitney too as
she has a huge fan base and she's got
tons of support and I just hope that she
utilizes that and
really pushes forward and really puts
her message out there that it's you know
it's great to accept your body for who
you are but to also embrace the fact
that you can make healthy choices and it
may change your body but it's all for
good purposes it's not because you're
doing it just to fit in or to hit the
new fad or you know what I'm saying like
I just I just hope that I see more
production showing changes of lifestyle
in the the healthy matter more so than
you know I understand her messages no
body shaming and I get that and I don't
want anybody to be shamed for the way
that they are please please don't get me
wrong
but I just wish that some of these shows
that have such great access to put out
the message in masses of mounts of
people to watch that it is okay to
change your lifestyle to fit a healthy
lifestyle and still accept your body for
who you are but as you're changing your
body because you're changing your
lifestyle it's okay to accept your body
changing as well that's my point anyways
okay move up six are bound life I don't
want it
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I don't agree with it I I don't have a
problem with people getting weight-loss
surgery that's totally not it but I
don't feel and again I am not part of
the show I don't know what goes on
behind the scenes I just know what I see
on TV so my opinion is stated on what I
see on the TV not knowing the true facts
so what I see is the doctor puts these
patients on calories that are basically
malnourished in their body and breaking
down their their muscle and everything
because their body's gonna start eating
that because there's basically starving
themselves to a point and expecting them
to go from eating 6,000 calories almost
a day to eating seven hundred to a
thousand calories a day I mean how are
you supposed to even like have the
concept of that like there's just no way
you were never gonna stick to that that
is just a that is a true fact you will
never stick to something that you
dropped from eating the amount of
calories most of these patients eat to
eating what he wants them to eat there's
an there's no way and I don't really see
like going and getting like counselling
and nutritional classes and I don't see
any of that so I'm just seeing you know
like I said what's on TV and I just if
that's really truly how he does it I
don't agree with it because then half of
these people that get the surgery
they're not gonna know how to stick to
it because they're just getting their
stomach done and boom gone goodbye good
luck you know and I just I think that it
comes you know if you're gonna get to
the weight loss surgery it comes with so
much more to it than just making the
appointment and going and I was
I was the second person on the list to
be called to have my surgery not through
that show but through my medical and I
went through everything I went through
the classes I I mean I went through
everything and the last step I was on
which was to get the surgery and I would
say probably about two months before I
would have been eligible to be called
for the surgery I backed out I literally
backed out not from fear but just
because I was like you know what I just
don't feel like the surgery is gonna
help me personally because mine stems
from mental issues not mental but mental
issues with food trauma disorder mine
stems so much deeper than just being
able to substandard is just not gonna
work for me and I see that with so many
of the patients on that show was a lot
of them have trauma with food obviously
you know so you may not think that
they're eating a pizza in front of you
but I guarantee you when those cameras
go home and they're left and they're
home by themselves or they're left home
with their family guarantee you they're
gonna send their family to the store to
go get their pizza or whatever it is
because they didn't get the help that
they need it at the very beginning so
anyways that's my rant about six nine
family what shows ended that I liked
little couple I loved that family I
really did I absolutely loved that
family and I just loved how
they were so again family-oriented and
you know battling cancer and adoption
and it just showed so much that they
went through but so much support that
they had behind them and I just loved
that I love love love that show
Extreme Couponing I love that show
and my husband was an extreme couponer
yes he figured it out all by himself
and that man would go to the store I
couldn't figure it out for the like me I
seriously couldn't I'd be like just get
me out - Nikki event um I started
cutting him out for him but that's as
best as I could do um he looked go to
the store and he would come home we did
not buy laundry soap for I would say
about a year and a half we still to this
day still have and yes not coupon in
four years we still have shampoo and
conditioner that he got from the coupons
he would come home with hundreds of
bottles of shampoo and conditioner one
time he checked out at it was like two
hundred and fifty dollars and I think he
paid like five dollars for the whole
thing I was blown away I was like oh so
people started begging him to please
teach them and he did he taught a couple
people and I don't know if they still do
keep on me now or not but they would do
it too and it was so great and I love
the show because wherever you can save
money do it that's how that's our motto
anyways and another one was the baby
story I love the baby story I remember I
would just sit there and be like oh I
wonder how it would be to have a baby oh
my gosh and I started watching that one
went oh my gosh I would say when I was
like 15 I started watching that one and
I would faithfully watch it every single
day that was my show so yeah those are a
few of my favorite shows but yeah if you
guys would put your shows down in the
comments and share with me what you guys
like to watch that would be awesome
anyways so I think I'm gonna close
I think I'm hearing my children getting
ready for bed and I am all ready to hit
the pillow not really yes um but anyways
I really hope you guys had a wonderful
Saturday and tomorrow is Sunday so take
a relaxation enjoy your afternoon
tomorrow relax for the next start of the
fresh week and I will see you guys again
[Music]
[Music]
